


bottle flip, heart flip

by smallpoem



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, fluffy wish fulfillment, that's all this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpoem/pseuds/smallpoem
Summary: They collide in the middle of the stage and suddenly they're holding each other, jumping up and down in each other's arms, and Changkyun is high on adrenaline and success and the cheers of the crowd and next thing he knows his lips are on Jooheon's.





	bottle flip, heart flip

**Author's Note:**

> i woke up the day after the berlin concert with this in my head. go figure.  
> for deni because we're suffering together <3

The bottle flip was Jooheon's idea. They needed something to kick off the last part of their unit stage, and he was holding a half empty water bottle when they were trying to come up with ideas. He got that twinkle in his eye that meant he was probably up to no good and definitely about to do something stupid, dropped into a squat and threw the bottle. Changkyun admittedly cheered just as loud as Jooheon did when the bottle spinned around its axis and landed perfectly upright on the floor between them. It’s silly and just the right amount of ridiculously fun, and so it ended up as a part of their performance.  
They take turns throwing the bottle, sometimes it’s a background dancer or the person who brings the bottle on stage for them, sometimes Jooheon or Changkyun will do it. And so far, it has only worked once, at the first concert of their world tour in Seoul. A perfect send off, but then the next time they failed, and kept failing. It doesn’t really matter, they always carry on and party hard anyway, but at this point it’s starting to feel just a tiny bit pathetic.

Changkyun really hopes it'll work this time. He grabs the water bottle from where it's tucked against the side of the drum set and strolls over to downstage center, where he, after losing a quick round of rock paper scissors, hands it to Jooheon. They share a look before squatting down opposite each other. Jooheon places the bottle in the middle between them, swings it back and forth a few times, and flips it. It spins, once, in a perfect circle, and lands firmly on the ground. Upright.  
The crowd erupts into cheers immediately, lightsticks in the air bouncing to the beat of the song, and Jooheon and Changkyun are laughing and running down the catwalk to the front stage. It's silly, Changkyun thinks, it shouldn't matter, it's just a stupid meme with a stupid bottle, but the fact that it finally _worked_ has him grinning and jumping around like an idiot. Well, Jooheon has always been just as much of an idiot as him. They catch each other's eyes from across the stage and before he knows it Changkyun is running again.  
They collide in the middle of the stage and suddenly they're holding each other, jumping up and down in each other's arms, and Changkyun is high on adrenaline and success and the cheers of the crowd and next thing he knows his lips are on Jooheon's.  
The screams erupting around them are deafening. Changkyun's blood is racing through his veins, heart hammering in his chest, and for a moment he's on top of the world. But Jooheon isn't moving. Jooheon isn't reacting. Changkyun freezes, cold drops of dread trickling down his spine and settling in his stomach, his heart threatening to drop right out of his body, but then the hand on his shoulder blades slides down, presses into his lower back and pulls him closer, and Jooheon is kissing him back.  
They kiss for a moment, wrapped up in each other in front of all these people who love them. They're both sticky with sweat and Changkyun's lungs are burning, but he still runs a hand up the back of Jooheon's neck anyway, threads his fingers into his hair and angles his head so their noses don't squish together. Then Jooheon licks the seam of his lips and Changkyun answers with a gasp and a soft bite to Jooheon's lower lip.  
Jooheon growls.  
It's a small sound at the back of his throat, but Changkyun's microphone picks it up and it reverberates throughout the entire arena. It snaps them both out of it.  
They break apart. Changkyun is breathing hard, the drum of his heartbeat in his ears drowning out everything else, and he just stares at Jooheon because he doesn't know what to do.  
Jooheon hugs him again quickly and laughs into the mic and then just carries on with the song, rapping and jumping for the roaring crowd around them. Changkyun's heart feels bigger than his body and he can't stop grinning and he throws himself into the performance with everything he has.

No one mentions the kiss until they get to their hotel after the concert. Minhyuk pulls Jooheon aside and Changkyun escapes to his room before he gets captured too. But half an hour later there's a knock on his door and it's Jooheon and Minhyuk shoves him inside with a cheerful “Talk to each other!” before slamming the door shut again.  
They stand there for a moment, awkward and bashful and not quite looking at each other, until Changkyun lets out a small laugh and Jooheon grins at him and then they're kissing again.  
It's different this time, slower and somehow more intimate. The fact that Jooheon still wants to kiss him when they're not on stage, not performing for anyone, just existing in each other's space with no one else to see, does something to Changkyun's heart. It makes him pull Jooheon closer, cling more tightly to him and kiss him with a slow, deep urgency that feels antithetical to the adrenaline induced haze he was in earlier. It also makes him want to look at Jooheon. But when he pulls back and opens his eyes, all he gets is a brief glimpse of flushed cheeks and plump lips as Jooheon chases after him, eyebrows furrowed as if any second he isn't spending kissing Changkyun is a fundamentally upsetting waste of time, and Changkyun loses his mind a little bit. He vocalises this with a noise, a low whine that he might've been embarrassed about had he had it in him to care, and Jooheon's grip on his waist tightens, fingers digging into his side as the ones on his nape curl into his hair and _tug_. Changkyun gasps against Jooheon's mouth, sensations tingling over his scalp and up and down his spine, and he runs a hand down Jooheon's back with half a mind to run it back up underneath his shirt, to feel his skin against his fingertips, to, just, _something_ -  
There's a knock on the door, followed by Minhyuk's singsong voice: “Less kissing, more talking!”  
They break apart breathless and blushing, still a little bashful, but with warmth and excitement buzzing underneath their skin. Changkyun trails backwards, letting go of Jooheon slowly as if asking him to follow, and sinks down on the bed.  
Jooheon follows as if he's tied to Changkyun with an imaginary string, never taking his eyes off of him. He sits next to him with barely any space between them. Changkyun tries to ignore how aware he is of Jooheon's every movement.  
“So,” he starts.  
“So,” Jooheon echoes. Changkyun bites his lip, suddenly feeling a little shy.  
“That happened.”  
“Sure did,” Jooheon says with a smile that dimples his cheeks. It's contagious. Changkyun couldn't wipe the ear to ear grin off his face if he tried (and he doesn't want to try).  
"I wouldn't mind it happening again," Jooheon adds with a playful eyebrow raise, his eyes flickering to Changkyun's lips. Changkyun can't resist kissing him again. He backs off before he can get carried away.  
"We should actually talk, though."  
Jooheon sighs exaggeratedly, but he nods.  
"Yeah, I know." He starts playing with the hem of Changkyun's sleeve. Changkyun takes a deep breath.  
"I don't know why I kissed you," he confesses. "I don't regret it, but I don't know why I did it. I don't know," he shakes his head, not finding the right words. "What we are? I mean, we're friends, so of course I like you, but I just- I don't know. I don't know what I want." He stares down at his hands in his lap. Jooheon tugs on his sleeve to make him look up at him.  
"Hey, I get it," he says softly. "It's the same for me. I never really thought about us like this, I- I don't know what I want either." Then his lips form a slightly crooked smile, and he leans in just a little bit closer. "But I do know that I want to keep kissing you."  
Changkyun can feel his cheeks heat up, but he doesn't look away from Jooheon. In a quiet voice he says: "I want to keep kissing you, too." Jooheon's face splits into the brightest smile.  
"Then we're on the same page! It's okay if we don't know where this is going yet. We can figure it out together."  
There's a smile tugging at the corners of Changkyun's mouth now, too, and warmth spreads from his chest through his entire body. He nods.  
"Yeah."  
"Yeah?"  
"Okay, yeah."  
Jooheon kisses him again.

Four years later Monsta X are back in Berlin with their 5th concert in the city. It's the same venue as their second one, but this time it's sold out up to the last seat. It's special to all of them, but especially to Jooheon and Changkyun. It's where they had their first kiss. It's also where they're going to give the probably most nerve-wracking ment of their entire career.  
They have talked this through with their manager, the company's CEO, their PR team. Inexplicably, amazingly, everyone agrees that it's okay for them to do this.  
The last encore stage is over. An extended instrumental version of the song is still playing as everyone does their ending ments - they're funny and emotional and the crowd laughs and cries with them. Now only Jooheon and Changkyun are left. Changkyun steps forward.  
He opens up with “what's up Berlin?!” and is met with a roaring reply. He lets them scream for a while, encourages them to go harder as he cups his ear, pretending not to hear them. Then he laughs and tries not to let it show that his heart is in his throat right now.  
“This is our fifth time here in Berlin! Thank you for welcoming us back again and again with so much love and enthusiasm!” The crowd screams that love and enthusiasm back at him after every sentence. He soaks it up to feed his courage.  
“It's so good to be back. This country, this city, this venue are so precious to us. Because we get to meet you all here. But they're especially precious to me.” Deep breath. In. Out.  
“Because four years ago,” the crowd erupts into cheers. He laughs, tries not to let his nervousness show.  
“Let me finish! Four years ago, we performed here for the first time. And right here, on this stage,” his ears are ringing. This is it. He turns around, looking for Jooheon, reaching for him. Their eyes find each other and Jooheon is right there with him, lacing his fingers with Changkyun's, squeezing his hand. It grounds him. One more deep breath.  
“I kissed my boyfriend for the first time.”  
He pulls Jooheon to his side as the crowd goes wild. They don't stop screaming even as he keeps talking and in a way that makes it easier.  
“He wasn't my boyfriend then. He was just Lee Jooheon. Now he's my Jooheon.”  
His Jooheon beams at him with the brightest smile and keeps squeezing his hand. The anxiety is starting to fall off of Changkyun, he feels lighter with every second of Jooheon smiling at him, of the crowd cheering for them, and their best friends having their backs.  
Jooheon takes the mic from Changkyun's hand and yells: “And he's my Changkyun!”  
Then he just _drops_ the mic and doesn't give Changkyun a chance to scold him for it because a second later Jooheon's hand is cupping his cheek and he's kissing him.  
Changkyun is soaring.  
It feels a lot like their first kiss - the backdrop of the stage, the cheers of the crowd, the adrenaline rush - but it also feels like the exact opposite. Because back then Changkyun was just going with the flow of the moment, with no idea of what he wanted. But now- he's never been more sure of anything in his life. He never wants this moment to end.  
He's all wrapped up in Jooheon, a hand fisted into his shirt and the other tangled in his hair, by the time he is brought back to reality by the other members making exaggerated gagging noises behind them. He detaches himself from Jooheon, laughing as he has to peel his boyfriend's arms off of him because he doesn't want to let go, and bends down to pick the victim of Jooheon's dramatic mic drop back up. He taps the mic to make sure it's still working before handing it to Jooheon.  
Jooheon looks at it warily. He was so confident about this the whole time, but suddenly he seems nervous. Changkyun takes his hand and links their fingers, squeezing gently and giving him a reassuring smile. He wants to give Jooheon the same support he received from him earlier.  
Jooheon looks at him for a moment, steeling himself, and takes a deep breath. Then he lifts the microphone up to his lips.  
"Monbebe!" he yells, and his voice doesn't waver one bit. "Thank you so much for all your love and support! We wouldn't be here without you, and we are forever amazed and so so thankful." Changkyun squeezes his hand. _You're doing so well_. Jooheon is still looking at him.  
"We thought about this for a long time, how and if we should tell you. I think a few years ago we might've decided against it. But times are changing, and," he takes another deep breath and looks away from Changkyun, into the crowd. "And we trust you. You've shown us nothing but love in these past few years. We wanted to be honest with you, and we wanted to stop hiding. I hope you can understand-" He breaks off, shakes his head, laughs. " _This is scary_. Like I said, times are changing, but there is still a lot of hate in the world. We know we are risking a lot by being honest about who we are. And we know that it doesn't only affect us, it affects the whole team." He gestures vaguely at the other members behind them. "It affects our best friends. But they know us, and they love us and support us, and they trust us." Changkyun chances a glance behind them. Kihyun, Minhyuk and Hoseok are crying. Hyunwoo and Hyungwon look close to tears, too. Changkyun quickly turns back around before he can get choked up as well.  
Jooheon visibly gulps before saying his next words. Changkyun catches himself holding his breath.  
"So now we ask you for the same thing. Please support us. Please trust us. You don't have to understand us, but if you can listen with an open mind and keep loving us with an open heart, that's all we ask for." One last deep breath. "Can you do that for us, monbebe?"  
They answer like a thunderstorm. Changkyun doesn't think he's ever heard cheers this loud in his life. He glances at Jooheon, but Jooheon seems mesmerised by the crowd. Changkyun decides to finally look at them, too.  
There are so many faces. He tries to look at as many of them as he can. He sees smiles and tears and hands and phones and lightsticks. But no anger. No sneers of disgust. No hate. Something kicks loose in Changkyun's chest.  
There are two girls in the crowd who are hugging. One of them is crying, and the other one is littering her face with kisses. Changkyun feels tears burning at the back of his throat as he smiles and waves at them. Then he lets his eyes wander again.  
There are more people kissing. There are hands clasped together, stretched into the air. There are rainbows. Changkyun dimly remembers that it's June. Pride month. He has to laugh, they didn't even plan for this.  
"Thank you," Jooheon laughs into the mic with a choked up voice. He sounds so close to crying, Changkyun wants to go back to his side, but the moment he turns to leave this side of the stage he spots another rainbow. A flag is travelling through the crowd, carried overhead from hand to hand, until it reaches the front row. A fan with a pride bracelet is trying to hand it to him, but they're too far away. Changkyun reaches out until he almost falls off the stage, and he hurriedly gets a security person to get the flag to him. He stands up as soon as it's in his hands, and holds it up for barely a second before he's on his way to Jooheon, the flag flying behind him like the cape of a superhero.  
The crowd notices him before Jooheon does. They turn towards him and scream his name, and Jooheon follows their line of sight. When Jooheon looks at him, his eyes change. They go soft and affectionate and loving, and god, Changkyun is so lucky. He reaches Jooheon and the world falls away.  
For a moment they just look at each other. Changkyun sees the last four years of their lives reflected in Jooheon's eyes. The buzzing excitement of sneaked kisses in the beginning, the confusion and anxiety when they started catching feelings, the pure giddy joy when they realised it was mutual. The stress and determination of making it official and deciding who to tell, and the warmth and happiness when their friends and families were accepting. The shock and surprise when management found out and told them they had their support (if they stuck to a few rules). The love and contentment of just being with each other, no matter how hectic their schedules got. And then the thrill and horror of the last few weeks, when they had decided with terrifying certainty that they were going to do this.  
When Changkyun arrives back in the present, he smiles at Jooheon. Throws his arm with the rainbow flag in the air and wraps it around the both of them. Uses it to pull Jooheon close.  
"I love you," he murmurs, in a voice so low only Jooheon would be able to hear it, but the microphone that's trapped between them picks it up and broadcasts it to the world. Changkyun can feel himself blush as Jooheon laughs and presses a quick kiss to his cheek. He makes a show of holding the mic up to his face and speaking into it when he says: "I love you too." Changkyun slaps his shoulder and laughs and Jooheon pulls him into a hug.  
As they listen to the cheers of the crowd, a pattern begins to emerge from the crescendo of voices. It's hard to make out at first, but as more and more people join in, the words they are chanting quickly become unmistakable.  
The other members join in on the chants of their fans, dancing over the stage and surrounding Jooheon and Changkyun in a comforting circle even as some of them are audibly crying.  
They probably should've seen this coming. Their fans do this at every concert. But they were so anxious about how this would go; it's still entirely overwhelming.  
"사랑해, 사랑해, 사랑해," the crowd chants. _We love you, we love you, we love you._  
There are tears on Jooheon's face now, and Changkyun thinks he is probably crying, too. He can't even tell.  
"사랑해, 사랑해, 사랑해," their best friends shout as they group around them in one big, bone-crushing hug.  
"사랑해, 사랑해, 사랑해," Changkyun's heart sings. Sometimes the world is good.

**Author's Note:**

> im here, im queer, and i will write self-indulgent fluffy wish fulfillment 'til i die.
> 
> i didn't edit this as thoroughly as i usually would because i really needed to get it out of my system, so if you spotted any mistakes, please do tell me! and if you enjoyed reading this, maybe consider telling me that too?
> 
> in any case, thank you for reading. <3


End file.
